I’m not even there yet, and I’m not homesick (yet), but I still love this song. I grew up listening to Jerry Jeff Walker, David Allan Coe and the like—all those from Armadillo World Headquarters—so I can’t help but think of this one by Gary P. Nunn whenever I go over.
Well, when you’re down on your luck,
and you ain’t got a buck,
in London you’re a goner.
Even London Bridge has fallen down,
and moved to Arizona,
now I know why.
And I’ll substantiate the rumor
that the English sense of humor
is drier than the Texas sand.
You can put up your dukes,
and you can bet your boots,
that I’m leavin’ just as fast as I can.*
I wanna go home with the armadillo.
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene.
The friendliest people and the prettiest women
you’ve ever seen.
Well it’s cold over here, and I swear,
I wish they’d turn the heat on.
And where in the world is that English girl,
I promised I would meet on the third floor.
And of the whole damn lot, the only friend I got,
is a smoke and a cheap guitar.
My mind keeps roamin’, my heart keeps longin’
to be home in a Texas bar.
Well, I decided that, I’d get my cowboy hat
and go down to Marble Arch Station.
‘Cause when a Texan fancies, he’ll take his chances,
chances will be takin, now that’s for sure.
And them Limey eyes, they were eyein’ the prize,
some people call manly footwear.
And they said you’re from down South,
and when you open your mouth,
you always seem to put your foot there.
Whenever I’m in London, conversations inevitably go something like:
Local: You’re American? Really? Where from?
Me: Texas. [Though sometimes I say New Orleans, and sometimes I just ask, “Originally or most recently?”]
Local: But you don’t have an accent. [beat] Do you have a horse? [Sometimes they say “ranch” instead of “horse.” And sometimes they ask where my hat and/or boots are.]
They make up for this by always saying I’m much nicer than most Americans. I don’t know what most Americans must get up to when they travel, but it sounds like a whole lot of no good.
*I wouldn’t say “I’m leavin’ just as fast as I can,” however. I rather like London. Why else would I keep going back?