Lately I’ve felt that my life is in transition. We’ve recently moved house, renovations are in the offing, and the kids start school on Monday. Much of my time and energy has been focused on domestic things. I haven’t written more than a couple paragraphs in months, and I can’t seem to settle on any one project. Nor have I felt the particular drive to write.
Part of me wants to tear it all down to the studs. Dump my Twitter, my Facebook, this site. Unpublish everything I’ve put out there. I don’t even know why I feel this way, except that there’s a desire for a clean slate.
And then what? I’m not convinced I’m going to continue writing. I have a long list of half-begun projects and a number of works that really need to be edited and re-launched, yet… zero motivation to finish any of them. I suppose I could just leave everything as it is and still walk away, but taking it all down feels like the equivalent of tidying a room; leaving all my books and sites up makes me feel like I’m leaving behind a mess. I don’t like to do that.
So I don’t know what I’ll do. I won’t scrub my stuff until I’m sure it’s what I want. In the meantime, I’ll keep doing stuff around the house and with my family. There are far worse ways to spend one’s time.