IWSG: May 2019

It’s time again for the Insecure Writer’s Support Group! Posts go up the first Wednesday of each month. Read more posts and/or join in here.

Hmm. I don’t recall seeing the monthly email, so I don’t know this month’s question. That alone makes me feel insecure…

We’ve moved into our new house but we’re still unpacking. Plus, there are a number of moderate renovation projects I’ve been helming: fixing the sprinkler system, getting the new kitchen hood, fixing the solar heating on the pool, and eventually also replastering and retiling the pool as well. Between this stack of tasks and managing the kids’ schedules, writing hasn’t been high on my list. And I can’t say I miss it much. I like to think I’m a good writer, but since I can’t seem to succeed at it no matter what I do, I’m now starting to believe maybe I’m not very good after all. Which is a bit of a blow. When you spend your life priding yourself on a skill or talent and (much later in life) discover maybe you don’t have that skill/talent…

I did recently begin tinkering with an old piece. I don’t know where it’s going, if anywhere, whether it will ever amount to anything or be publishable at all. Maybe I’m wasting my time. Maybe all the years I’ve spent writing were a waste of time and energy that I should have been putting elsewhere.

So I’m trying to figure some stuff out. About myself, my writing, my “career” (if it can be called as such). Faebourne is up for a RONE award, and voting begins next week, but given that I’ve never been able to mobilize enough people to support me, I don’t have much hope in that quarter either. Feels like a nail in my coffin.

8 thoughts on “IWSG: May 2019”

  1. You’ve been so immensely busy, I’m surprised you’ve gotten time to sit and write at all. I enjoy your stories a lot, but i know how it feels doubting one’s own talent.

  2. Exciting to have your book up for an award!
    I think if we’re writing and enjoying it, we’re successful. I’ve not put myself out there very often, so I might not have a clue what I’m talking about though! 🙂

    1. Yes, I want to get back to where I enjoy writing again…

      I think we have a tendency to move our goal posts. We think, “I’ll be happy if x happens.” And then x does happen, and we say, “Well, now if only y would happen…” And so on and so forth. Objectively, I know I’ve had what others would consider success. I need to remember how far I’ve come.

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