I ran across a list of “ice breaker” questions on Facebook that seem like good interview questions for a character. So I decided to ask Peter Stoller a few.
MPL: Who was the last person you held hands with?
PS: I decline to answer that.
MPL: But it was totally Charles, right? We all know it was Charles.
PS: It’s really none of your business.
MPL: Oookay. Are you loud, outgoing, or shy?
PS: . . . Shy, I suppose.
MPL: You suppose?
PS: Well, are those my only choices? I’m not loud, and I’m not particularly outgoing, therefore I must be shy.
MPL: Let’s just move on. Have you ever given up on someone but then gone back to him or her?
MPL: Right. How about . . . [scanning list] Do you like big crowds of people?
PS: Not particularly, but they can be useful in certain circumstances.
MPL: You mean spy stuff.
PS: [blank stare]
MPL: You’re not very easy to interview.
PS: In my line of work, we’re not meant to be.
MPL: What do you do when you wake up?
PS: Open my eyes.
MPL: What do you say during awkward silences?
PS: Nothing. That’s what makes it awkward and silent.
MPL: Oh, for— Do you have trust issues?
PS: In my line of—
MPL: Work, yes, we get it. If you’re being extremely quiet, what does it mean?
PS: That I have nothing to say.
MPL: Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
PS: No. Not everyone.
MPL: You sound very definite.
PS: Is that a question?
MPL: All right, what was the meanest thing someone ever said to you?
PS: [laugh] Just one? I wouldn’t know where to start.
MPL: What about the nicest thing?
MPL: No one has ever said anything nice to you?
PS: It was nice at the time, but . . .
MPL: What was it?
PS: Byron used to say I was his world, the only thing that mattered.
MPL: That’s sweet. Who is Byron?
PS: [shakes his head]
MPL: A boyfriend? He was in the book, right?
MPL: And what happened to him?
PS: Suicide. [beat] I think we’re done here, yes?
MPL: But . . .
PS: We’re done. I’m done. [stands up to leave]
MPL: Just one more thing. Please.
MPL: You and Charles? You did get back together, didn’t you?
PS: Officially? No.
PS: [slight smile] See you in the next book.
If you haven’t read it yet, pick up The Fall and Rise of Peter Stoller from Tirgearr Publishing. Excerpt and all buying links available here.