So my dread lately has been . . . failure. Specifically, the failure of my latest novel. It came out on January 15, and has had ups and downs in the Amazon rankings. (I can’t see the data, nor do I have any info on other platforms, so I can only go by the Amazon rank.) I mean, I can’t really say it’s a “failure” so much as not the break-out hit I wanted it to be. Which still feels like a failure to me.
I’m hugely disappointed. I know, objectively, that the book may yet find its audience, and I do have a big blog tour coming up in April that I hope will help. But as things stand, my publisher has told me it’s unlikely Peter will go into print, and so a lot of my plans have gone up in smoke. My big debut turned out not to be very big. (I call Peter a debut because it’s my first traditionally published book versus self-published.)
All the doubts are there, eating at me. Am I not a good writer? If I’d published it myself, could I have done better (my husband is a marketer and has done well by my other books)? But I did really want the experience of being published by someone other than myself. So at least I can say I’ve done that.
My writing group assures me my most recent manuscript—a YA fantasy called Changers, hopefully first in a trilogy—is far more commercial and should do well. Peter is decidedly a niche market novel. I get that. But despite all the sound logic and reasoning, I can’t help but be disappointed anyway.
Maybe Peter will find its feet somewhere down the line. I know I can’t dwell. Need to move on to the next thing. But it’s difficult to let go of something you worked so hard on, watch it sink. It’s quite depressing. So I’m taking a little time off to regroup. Don’t know how long just yet. An indefinite hiatus. But I’ll keep posting here, so do check back! I’ve started an author interview series; drop me a note if you’d like to be interviewed! And if you’d like to check out Peter, the Tirgearr Publishing site has a page featuring all the links to various e-formats. There’s an excerpt and several reviews there, too. I can at least take comfort in the fact the book has been generally well reviewed by the few who’ve read it. Maybe someday it’ll be considered one of those classics that was ahead of its time. Well, a girl can dream.