Peter and I are fighting.
Or, more accurately, we’re not speaking.
If you’re only just now tuning in and thinking, Who’s Peter? Her boyfriend? Let me say . . . Kind of. In the way that writers’ characters are sort of like lovers. At least for me. I fall in love with my characters; I couldn’t write about them otherwise. And as with any relationship, there are ups and downs, and there are times when we don’t get along. We do things that irritate one another. And sometimes we need some alone time.
I’m probably crazy.
Anyway, I’ve been running flat-out on these revisions, and things had been going pretty well, and now I’ve hit the proverbial wall. I’ve been working for three days on a particular scene and can’t make it come out right. And before you say, Then move on—that’s not how I work. I shouldn’t say “never.” I have sometimes skipped ahead and written a scene that I know comes much later because it was just so fresh and clear in my mind and needed to be put down on paper (or screen). But I don’t have that right now, with this revision. I’m plowing through the old-fashioned way.
In any case, I’m exhausted enough now to want to chuck the whole thing right out a window. Of course, I won’t. I still love Peter deep down and could never jilt him. What I may try next is just writing random scenes and seeing what sticks. I think maybe I’ve been trying too hard to do something specific in this scene, rather than letting it flow naturally. And while each scene should have a purpose, it should never be forced. That’s probably why Peter is so annoyed with me.
And of course I’m impatient. I want to be done. But Peter and the novel deserve better than a rushed job. And the readers deserve better, too. So. Deep breath and start again . . .